Daughter’s text to Dad: Daddy, I’m coming home to get married soon, so get your checkbook ready. LOL! As you know, I’m in Australia and he’s in the US. We met on a dating site, became friends on Facebook, and had long chats on WhatsApp. He proposed to me on Skype and now we’ve had a 2 month relationship through Viber. Dad, I need your blessing, good wishes, and a really big wedding. Lots of love, Lilly.

Dad’s reply: Dad’s reply: My dear Lilly, Like Wow! Really? Cool! Whatever… I suggest you two get married on Twitter, have fun on Tango, register for your stuff on Amazon, and pay for it all through PayPal. And when you get fed up with this new husband, sell him on eBay. Lots of love, Dad.